Love, survival and loss in this season of coronavirus - Boston Herald

If you’re feeling a little less thankful this year because COVID-19 is making your life harder and you had to share Thanksgiving dinner with your family by Zoom, talk to Karen Nascembani.

Karen was in a coma from COVID-19 for more than a month last March, face down on a ventilator and struggling to survive. The prognosis was grim but Karen’s family and friends insisted she would not die. She was a tower of strength, they said, and people like that don’t fall victim to anything.

I knew what they meant. Karen is my friend. She fills the room with her giant smile, even bigger heart and a voice meant for Hollywood. Those of us who know her checked in with her family and each other — a lot — to see how she was doing. We knew the devastating stories of those who didn’t make it, and we saw the endless obituary pages.

Karen emerged from her coma one of the lucky ones. But when she woke up, her sister shared devastating news. Karen’s beloved husband Steven Richard, father-in-law Earl Richard, and friend Don Kelly had all died from COVID-19 while she was unconscious. She was overwhelmed with grief, though not surprised to learn about her husband. “He was admitted to Winchester Hospital before me, so I knew he had been ill. I told my sister I knew he was dead because when I was having hallucinations from COVID, I saw him. He was there with me, smiling peacefully, as if to say ‘you are going to be OK.’”

Karen later learned that Steven was directly involved in her recovery, even as he lay dying.

She explained, “When I was first admitted to Winchester Hospital, I needed an ICU bed but they were all filled. The first bed that opened up for me was Steven’s. He had taken a turn for the worse and had to be med-flighted to Lahey Clinic, so they gave me his bed. And then when I became more ill and had to be med-flighted to Lahey myself, again there were no beds available, until one opened up for me when Steven died.”

Such an emotionally and physically overwhelming experience might leave a person sad and angry this holiday season, but Karen sees things differently. “I could be bitter,” she said, “but I feel blessed. If not for gratitude, I would have died of a broken heart. I’m sad about what happened, but I had thirty years with the love of my life, and my father-in-law was a dream. I am so grateful for the love of my family and friends, and thankful that I have been able to give them love back. That’s what life is all about, isn’t it? What more can we ask for?”

Karen’s philosophy is reminiscent of inspirational holiday classics like “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.” But those movies are fictional. Karen Nascembani’s experience with COVID-19 is painfully real. I hope her story motivates all of us to love a little more this season, and find gratitude even when — especially when — it seems elusive.

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