On the philosophical legitimacy given by Hindu thought to love and desire that several people in India seem to have forgotten.
The Kamasutra
Many years ago, I wrote a book on the Kamasutra. It was an attempt to understand the remarkable inclusion of love, the erotic and the sensual, in the four highest purusharthas or goals of the Hindu worldview: Dharma (righteousness), Artha (economic values), Kama (pleasure) and Moksha (self-actualisation). In the course of my study, there were two important insights that became clear to me. The first was that the Kamasutra was not just a manual of — as most people believe — acrobatic sexual postures, but a philosophical validation of something which is an essential and beautiful part of our lives. The second was that more than 2,000 years ago, in a male dominated society, we had a great sage, Vatsyayana, who wrote a book that was more devoted to the pleasures of women than the satisfaction of men.
Today, perhaps more than ever before in the history of mankind, the display of sex is ubiquitous. Sex is everywhere: On billboards, on television, in publications, in films, and in the vast domain of cyberspace. The problem lies precisely in this surfeit: There is so much of sex in our routine existence that we have forgotten what it is all about.
We need, therefore, to revisit the Kamasutra. Especially modern men (if there is a species like that) need to do so. They think they know a lot about “technique” but not enough about what pleases the source of their mostly one-sided pleasure: Women. Vatsyayana is all for good technique, but he believes that good sex is more than just that. Good sex requires men to do more than just ooze testosterone. A good lover has to be sensitive to a woman’s needs, and Vatsyayana puts the fulfilment of women at the heart of the cosmic experience of sex. Their demands, their responses, the things that arouse them, and their climax gets primacy. In short, the Kamasutra is the votary of the intelligent lover who is able to invest in what is conducive to a woman’s satisfaction.
This requires a man to prepare himself for what is a fulfilling sexual experience for both partners, and not just a mechanical act of friction. The Kamasutra is a manual for precisely this act of learning for men. It teaches men to understand that women may have different definitions of sensual fulfilment, and their own personally coded paths to sensual arousal. It instructs men how to tantalisingly lead a woman from the base of the desires to the pinnacle of her fulfilment. To achieve this, he envisages a languorous, drawn-out affair, involving dalliance and foreplay and the slow simmer of passion, until her explosive culmination, and the enjoyment of the post-coital afterglow. No detail in this journey is too small: The place, the setting, conversation and laughter, incense, music, games, hygiene, the embrace, the kiss, the use of nails, the bite, and, of course, the act itself.
It is true, perhaps, that in the pressured lives that most people lead today, and very often the absence of sufficient privacy and space, this kind of experience is difficult. But the endeavour is valid, and should be pursued, if possible, because desire, to be truly fulfilling, must be treated with respect, and men need to understand what it takes to be sensitive to the needs of women.
The important thing, thus, is not to view Vatsyayana as some kind of gymnast who took sadistic pleasure in proposing the most impossible postures, which only a clever contortionist could perform. There is much more to it, which is a part of the amazingly pragmatic and balanced worldview of Hinduism.
Ultimately, it is a manual to make men accomplished lovers. Hopefully, this wisdom can help salvage the sensual from the avalanche of flesh around us.
Valentine's Day
I find it both amusing and ridiculous that, in the land of the Kamasutra and Khajuraho, and the philosophical legitimacy given by Hindu thought to love and desire, there are goons who go about harassing couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day, for “violating Indian culture”. Their deplorable ignorance of what Indian culture is about has a corresponding ignorance in those who blindly celebrate this Western ritual. Most of our educated young who mimic the West in celebrating Valentine’s Day, know hardly anything about the vast tradition of sringara rasa (the emotion of love and sensuality) in their own culture, reflected so passionately in the huge corpus of exquisite poetry on the love lore of Radha and Krishna, the writings of Kalidasa, and many other great works. When rituals are copied without a knowledge of one’s own culture, they often become mimicry.
Be that as it may, like every year, this year, too, I attended Bhaichand Patel’s Valentine’s Day party, which is quite a much-awaited event for the large number of friends it brings together, the warm hospitality, and the personality of Bhaichand himself, who, at 85 years, is still full of zest and is a wonderful and caring host.
Pavan K Varma is author, diplomat, and former Member of Parliament (Rajya Sabha).
Just Like That is a weekly column where Varma shares nuggets from the world of history, culture, literature, and personal reminiscences with HT Premium readers
The views expressed are personal
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2023-02-19 05:08:57Z
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