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If at First You Don’t Succeed at Love, Try an Instagram DM - The New York Times

When Carly Stein and Oliver Kremer matched on Hinge, they didn’t make it past the messaging stage before she ghosted. But he persisted.

When Carly Lena Sophie Stein first saw Oliver Samuel Kremer’s profile on Hinge, she almost swiped left.

“My bro radar went off,” Ms. Stein said. “He’s handsome. He’s fit.” And, thus, he wasn’t quite her type. But then she saw that he liked her favorite blog, Tim Urban’s “Wait But Why.” Her interest piqued, right she swiped.

It was August 2019 and the two, who were living in Manhattan, began messaging. But by the end of September, she ghosted.

“The conversation just fizzled. It had absolutely nothing to do with him,” Ms. Stein, 31, said. “I was just really work focused.”

Originally from Toronto, Ms. Stein graduated from the University of Victoria in British Columbia and worked as a trader at Goldman Sachs before leaving the financial industry at the end of 2016 to start a health and wellness brand, Beekeeper’s Naturals, in 2017.

A month later, Mr. Kremer, 36, was scrolling through Hinge and saw her again. He liked her profile and sent her another message. This time around, she didn’t even respond.

That’s when he became an internet sleuth.

Mike Kai Chen for The New York Times

Mr. Kremer, who grew up in Berkeley, Calif., and graduated from Washington University in St. Louis before founding the restaurant chain Dos Toros Taqueria in 2009 with his brother, Leo Kremer, used Ms. Stein’s Hinge profile and what he knew from their previous messages to find her Instagram account.

He then sent her a direct message: “Hi! Please excuse my random DM slide. I think we’ve matched on Hinge a few times. You’re an entrepreneur. I’m an entrepreneur. You’re Jewish (I think). I’m Jewish. You’re beautiful! We should go out sometime and see if we get along.”

“I remembered him,” Ms. Stein said, admitting that she had previously been “skeptical and probably stereotyping him.”

This time, she was impressed by his persistence and interest. “The intentionality was there,” she said. So she responded.

“She really is the most multifaceted person I’ve ever met,” Mr. Kremer said. “I had a feeling I needed to meet her before I met her.”

Two weeks later, on Nov. 29, 2019, they went on their first date: a drink at Caffe Dante in Greenwich Village. It was Black Friday, one of the busiest days of the year for Ms. Stein’s company, but she didn’t want to cancel. “I went thinking it’ll just be a quick drink,” Ms. Stein said.

But they soon realized they had a lot in common: Both are entrepreneurs who have a sibling as a best friend, and they also share an interest in reading sci-fi and fantasy novels. (They are also both, as he suspected, Jewish.) “I was like, ‘This guy is really amazing.’ I was smitten,” Ms. Stein said. “There was an instant connection.”

Mike Kai Chen for The New York Times

He walked her to an Uber at the end of the evening, and it began to snow. They were standing in the middle of the street. “It was like a rom-com,” Mr. Kremer said, adding, “I never kiss on the first date.” But that night he broke his own rule. Putting his hands on her face, he pulled her in. “It was very sweet,” Ms. Stein said.

Four days later, they went on their second date to Blue Ribbon Sushi in SoHo.

Even while expanding her business and frequently traveling to apiaries in British Columbia and Kingston, Ontario, the couple still managed to stay connected.

“After our first date, we were kind of inseparable,” Ms. Stein said. “While I was traveling, we FaceTimed or spoke on the phone every day.”

In late February 2020, they took a trip to go bouldering at Joshua Tree National Park. Somehow, they got off the beaten path and things became a little harrowing. “We had to throw our backpacks over. I had to push her up this thing. It was pretty epic,” Mr. Kremer said. It was making their way out together that made them both realize they had found “the one.”

On March 16, 2020, Mr. Kremer headed to Ontario to see Ms. Stein who was there for a work retreat. When the pandemic caused the Canadian border to close to nonessential travel, they ended up in a cabin in the woods in Muskoka for three months.

Mike Kai Chen for The New York Times

She worked and he cooked, having sold Dos Toros early in the year. “Sometimes men get really excited about having a partner who has her own thing, and then later they don’t like it so much,” Ms. Stein said. “But Oliver is always my champion. Always supportive. My work inspires him.”

That June, they returned to New York and she moved in with Mr. Kremer, into his apartment.

Six months later, on Dec. 23, 2020, just two days after they arrived in Maui for a vacation with his family, Mr. Kremer proposed during a hike on the Waihee Ridge trail, surrounded by spectacular mountain views. “I knew Carly wanted to be proposed to in nature, and I found this amazing hike,” he said. “Everyone else knew it was happening.”

The couple were married on Aug. 28 at the University of California Botanical Garden at Berkeley, in Berkeley, Calif.

Mike Kai Chen for The New York Times

When Ms. Stein entered to a string version of the song “1950” by King Princess, “I just started bawling,” Mr. Kremer said. For the ceremony, Ms. Stein wore a form-fitting Galia Lahav gown with sheer side paneling.

Beneath a canopy of trees, the officiant, Jessica Winterstern-Attard, a friend of the bride who was ordained by the Universal Life church for the event, led 150 guests in a heart-centering practice to begin the ceremony. “I would like to begin by inviting you to close your eyes and place both hands on your heart as we take a moment to come to ground, centering ourselves, invoking the source of living love, setting intentions for today’s ceremony,” she said.

“We talk a lot about the ripple effects of our love,” Ms. Stein said. “The wedding has a lot to do about us. But it’s really about the union of the people around us.”

In his vows to Ms. Stein, Mr. Kremer said, “You are the most magical being I have ever met.”

And in her vows, Ms. Stein said, “Loving you is the most powerful thing I’ve ever known. And I’ve done ayahuasca four times.”

Mike Kai Chen for The New York Times

Later, a reception was held at Mr. Kremer’s family home in Berkeley, beginning with a cocktail hour in the garden. “It felt like the shire,” Ms. Stein said of the ambience, with string musicians and vintage velvet furniture.

Dinner was on the tennis courts, which the couple had freshly painted for the occasion. “It was like enchanted forest woodland vibes with ivy and lights going all across the top,” Mr. Kremer said. Speeches and dancing followed.

“I believe in science and a real part of me has always believed in universal contraction, entropy and the end of all things. Well, I’ve changed my mind,” Ms. Stein said in her speech to guests. “Now I believe in expansion. I believe that when you truly want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you find it.”

At 10:30 p.m., to respect local noise ordinances, the party moved into the living room of the Kremer home. The bride changed into a sleek, spaghetti-strap Galvan gown with baby’s breath clipped into her hair.

“The after party was epic. We danced until 4 a.m.,” Ms. Stein said. “The living room was decorated like the Great Hall of Hogwarts with candles floating from the ceiling, and I had a wardrobe change into a woodland fairy situation. It was like full-out Burning Man with elf ears and flower crowns and glitter and jewels on people’s faces.”

Mike Kai Chen for The New York Times

On This Day

When: Aug. 28, 2022

Where: Redwood Grove & Amphitheater, the University of California Botanical Garden at Berkeley, in Berkeley, Calif.

Totally Charming At the reception, when the D.J. played “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind, Mr. Kremer requested the microphone and performed the song in tribute to his brother, Leo Kremer, 41, who is the former bassist for the band.

Holding on to Tradition During the hora, Mr. Kremer was really, really nervous. “I thought I was going to fall off the front of the chair. But I held on for dear life and I survived,” Mr. Kremer said.

Wedding Parties, Plural On Friday afternoon, Ms. Stein and her bridesmaids took part in a bridal blessing ceremony led by Ms. Winterstern-Attard. That night, the couple joined their families for dinner. And before the rehearsal dinner on Saturday night, they held a beer pong tournament, complete with brackets and custom balls with the couple’s photo on them. In a final head-to-head with Mr. Kremer, Ms. Stein won. “Oliver’s the most competitive person on the planet,” Ms. Stein said. “Everyone was trying so hard to beat him.”

Mother Earth The couple did their best to be as environmentally conscious as possible. Their invitations and R.S.V.P.s were digital; dinner options were fish or vegan; the wedding cake was vegan; and the favors, naturally, were sustainable honey from Ms. Klein’s company, complete with custom labels.

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https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/09/style/carly-stein-oliver-kremer-wedding.html

2022-09-09 04:00:10Z

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