At the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, I was one of many Latter-day Saints who grieved when temples closed worldwide and rejoiced when they opened again for proxy work.
When my temple announced that it was moving to Phase 3, I eagerly made an appointment early on a Saturday, when my husband could watch our toddler.
Unfortunately, I jolted awake that Saturday morning and realized I had slept through my alarm. There was little chance I would be able to make the 40-minute drive and arrive on time.
For a few moments I laid there and debated what to do. Should I still try to make my appointment? If I were late, would the temple still be able to accommodate me?
I also took the opportunity to berate myself. I had planned to get up early so I could arrive at the temple focused on worship, instead of stressed about time. This was a special opportunity, and I had ruined it. It felt like another demerit on my report card for life.
I had been struggling to juggle the responsibilities of being a wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter, ministering companion, etc. with my job, Church calling and other pursuits. I was constantly dropping a ball, despite my best efforts. And by sleeping in, I felt like I had botched things up. Again. “You’re a mess. Not good enough. Failure,” were some of the phrases reverberating in my brain.
Mentally I began to scroll through my never-ending to-do list. “You’ve already messed this up. You might as well stay home.”
Finally, I asked the Lord, “What do You want me to do?”
The words came clear and direct: “The Lord wants you in His house.”
In an instant, my perspective shifted, and I threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. I decided, even if I missed my appointment, I could show the Lord that I wanted to be in His house, too, by trying fervently, if imperfectly, to make it there.
I wish I could say everything conveniently aligned and from there it was smooth sailing. The car keys weren’t where we normally keep them. I dropped my cellphone and charger in the garage, and they went spiraling in separate directions under my car. The GPS route took me straight through road construction.
When I arrived at the temple — late and flustered — a kind temple worker informed me that another patron had canceled at the last minute and there was an available slot.
With a relief that is difficult to describe, I quickly changed into my temple clothes and waited for my turn. I basked for a moment in the beauty and serenity of my surroundings. I told my Father in Heaven in humble sincerity how grateful I was to be in His house again.
Immediately I felt enfolded, engulfed, encircled in love. The feeling was so startling, overwhelming and unexpected that I began to weep. I was known. I was understood. And I was loved completely, even with my many imperfections.
I’ve reflected many times on that experience, and I’ve gleaned many lessons, but one of the most poignant, and hopefully enduring, takeaways has been the fundamentality of knowing God and feeling His love.
I remember reporting on a question-and-answer session at BYU Women’s Conference in May 2019. An overwhelmed mother, who said she could “happily sleep for four years,” was unsure how to balance the rigors of creating a nurturing home where the gospel is lived and taught when “there are voices telling me to do more, be more, fit more in, spend more, more, more.”
The general presidents of the Relief Society, Young Women and Primary organizations all gave insightful, helpful answers, but Young Women General President Bonnie H. Cordon’s response has stuck with me. President Cordon said that when she feels like the woman who posed the question, “I know I just have to go to my knees. I ask the Lord, ‘Tell me again that you love me. I need to know.’”
Moroni 7:48 says to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love.”
“As soon as I feel that extra dose of love, … I know I can do it,” President Cordon said.
There’s a reason President Russell M. Nelson, then-President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, invited the rising generation to “learn who you really are” and “how [God] feels about you.”
He promised, “When you begin to catch even a glimpse of how your Heavenly Father sees you and what He is counting on you to do for Him, your life will never be the same” (Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, Jan. 10, 2016).
In her talk about God’s love, in October 2021 general conference, Primary General President Susan H. Porter said: “Brothers and sisters, do you know how completely God, our Heavenly Father, loves you? Have you felt His love deep in your soul?
“When you know and understand how completely you are loved as a child of God, it changes everything. It changes the way you feel about yourself when you make mistakes. It changes how you feel when difficult things happen. It changes your view of God’s commandments. It changes your view of others and of your capacity to make a difference.”
God’s love will sustain us when life is challenging. It’s what will strengthen us when we feel weak. It’s what will motivate us to repent and give us the courage to keep trying. It will bring us peace when we feel doubt and hope when we feel discouraged. It will help us trust in Him when life is uncertain — and in today’s tumultuous world there is a lot of uncertainty.
It’s worth every effort to put ourselves in a place where He can communicate that love to us. I know, like Nephi, “it is the most desirable above all things … and the most joyous to the soul” (1 Nephi 11:22-23).
— Rachel Sterzer Gibson is a reporter for the Church News.
https://www.thechurchnews.com/living-faith/2022/10/9/23377097/feeling-gods-love-fundamental-rachel-sterzer-gibson
2022-10-09 15:46:12Z
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "Rachel Sterzer Gibson: How feeling God's love has been the remedy for this overwhelmed mom - Church News"
Post a Comment